Let me start by saying, I am soooo NOT a runner.  I had the delusion of attempting the C25K last year, but failed miserably.  That being said, last night I signed up for a 5K.  WHAT? I know, right.  It wouldn’t be a big deal for most people, but for me, it’s terrifying.

Let me back up.. for a while I have wanted to learn to run.  I say ‘learn’, because it is indeed a learned skill for 34 year olds who have never been able to do so.. I mean, never.  I recall in horror my 4th grade year PE class, in which we had to run for 15 or 20 minutes along the fence surrounding the playground every couple of weeks.  I. Would. Puke. Every. Time…. EVERY time…without fail.  MORTIFYING.  I was your typical 4th grader.. average height, average weight.. I wasn’t a fat kid trying to run while eating a bag full of powdered donuts or anything close to it.  For THAT kid, of course puking would be expected.  So.. running has always been something I have dreaded, but at the same time, deep down something I always wished I could do.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with exercise.  I feel so great after I do, but getting the first foot out the door is the hardest step to take.  There’s always an excuse as to why tomorrow would be better than today.  I even have a membership to the YMCA that I’ve used a handful of times over the past year, but I refuse to cancel it.. instead I pay each month for a membership I never use… I haven’t crossed the threshold in months.  In my twisted way of thinking, by keeping it, I haven’t completely given up on becoming healthier and possibly fitting into the cute jeans I haven’t worn in years. A security blanket of sorts.. if I keep it, I haven’t truly failed… again.  Crazy logic I know.. and my husband also thinks I’m nuts, but he’s been entirely too good about not bringing it up… much.

Ok, so back to the 5K… Yesterday, my sister called me and the first words out of her mouth were, “Man, I want to be a runner…” and then the proceeded to tell me about a couple of people she saw running by her work.  We talked about it for a few minutes, then went on to discuss other things… once I hung the phone up, it was forgotten… until… Last night a friend of mine posted a link on Facebook for the Color Me Rad 5K.  My first thought was, wow.. that looks like fun.. but it was immediately followed by.. you could never do that.

The little voice in our heads can either be our best friend or our worst enemies.  Well, I finally told that little voice to screw off.. I was doing it.  Granted, it didn’t take it lying down.. its been talking back quite a bit.. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in somewhat of a panic, but I can do this. I will do this.. and what better motivation to get my butt to the gym.  I don’t think anything happens by accident.  There was a reason my sister and I had the conversation we did yesterday, and there was a reason I saw my friend’s post.  I’m going way out of my comfort zone this time, but to become someone you’ve never been.. you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

I was meant to do this…